I love my kids, but sometimes the things they do are so unbelievably annoying. So here is a list of my children’s favorite things to do that annoy the crap out of me.
And to be clear, It is by no means a comprehensive list. Just a few of my top annoyances right now.
- Potty Talk. Someone please explain to me what is so funny about using the words butt, poop, gasser, burp, booty etc. I get the humor the first time. But after saying these words 56,320,980 times – is it really still funny? And why is this the only humor we seem to enjoy? There has to be a better way to get a laugh. Or at the very least, a less annoying way for your dear mom.
- Bodily Functions. The only thing more funny (and more annoying) than talking about farting and burping is actually doing it. And if it’s funny the first time, then time 643 is even more hysterical!
- Screaming. Just screaming. Usually the screaming is done while strapped into the car because I’m sure the enclosed space has better acoustics. But really, how can this be fun? Therapeutic maybe but fun?
- Running in the House. In the winter, I get this one. You aren’t left with many options to burn off that energy – but in the summer, no way do I get it. My kids will run circles around the island in the kitchen. All the while, laughing and screaming until inevitably someone gets hurt.
- The Slapping Game. This game is exactly what it sounds like, and it makes me insane! Who would want to play this game? What’s the upside? Proving that you can take a beating? Oh lord!!
- Jumping on and/or off of things. My son spends his whole existence searching for things to climb on. Then he simply watches his sisters and gains a clear understanding of how to climb down from wherever he is perched. And the girls aren’t much better. Nothing is safe: no surface, no bed, no piece of furniture. And it is only a miracle we have last this long without a broken bone. We are living on borrowed time.
So – all that being said, I am now going to enjoy the remainder of nap time and luxuriate in the peace and quiet.
Love and Light – Emily