Last night while out with friends, one of them made a comment at dinner that there are two types of Moms in the world: Those who love being a mom and are completely fulfilled being at home with their kids and those who love being a mom, but also need something else to feel fulfilled.
This comment hit me like an anvil falling out of a window.
Now, let’s set aside the fact that this is a gross overgeneralization and also very polarizing, and just say that it’s true for the sake of discussion. Let’s say that there are just two types of moms out there.
When I heard that comment last night, I was struck not because I wasn’t sure which mom I was, but because I felt guilty knowing that I am the latter.
When my oldest was born, I was teaching full time. I have two Bachelors degrees and a Masters degree, and I loved my job. I saw absolutely no reason to stay home. Then after my second was born, it became an issue of balance as we were faced with paying for daycare for two kids and had to weigh out what it was worth for me to continue to work.
My decision to stay home was not an easy one and it was a rough transition.
I definitely miss my job at times, especially my students. I miss the challenges and struggles. I miss the sense of accomplishment when they get it or when a kid finds success. I am also sad to think that I won’t have those experiences if I am not in the classroom.
I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I do feel like I need something more at times. And like so many things today, that feeling is not something a Mom is supposed to feel or at least to share.
And I don’t mean that I need a night out or to go to Target by myself. I mean that I need to accomplish something more than loading the dishwasher and putting the laundry away each day. And that isn’t to say that those tasks are beneath me or don’t show my love for my family – it’s just that I also need something else.
The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t matter what type of Mom you are. There are a million types of Moms and each one of us is our own unique type who strives each day to be the best she can be for herself and her family.
The answer isn’t the important part – it’s asking yourself the question that really matters. Is this enough? Am I happy and full or do I need something else?
And “something else” doesn’t need to be a full time job with benefits, it could be a blog that you write in your pajamas on Saturday mornings or a hobby or a volunteer organization or committee or whatever fills you up.
It doesn’t matter how you find your fulfillment, but it does matter that you look for it. You deserve it!
Cheers – Emily